Why I (Shouldn’t) have watched Happy New Year!

Why I have:

So, after watching a promo where Deepika Padukone constipated-ly says, ‘Dance is an A-R-T’, it takes more than just will-power, determination & courage to go watch Happy New Year. So, here are the reasons why I actually went to watch the movie:

5) Nonsensical entertainment

I do not mind cheating on logic for entertainment. If a movie makes me laugh, shout, hoot & whistle, that’s more than enough! And that’s what I was expecting of HNY!

Masala

4) Abhishek Bachan

He is a good comedian. And with a double-role I was expecting him to crack me up like Salman Khan did in Judwaa (Ah, the irony!)

Abhishek Bachan

3) Fire, Fire, Fire!

I was expecting reasoning for setting up things on fire around SRK & Deepika whenever they touched each other! Why was that happening?! Why?! Why?!! Didn’t Simon Sinek teach you to start with Why?!

HNY

2) India Waaley!

After Chak De & Swadesh, I concluded that Patriotism & SRK go hand in hand. So, even if the lyrics of the song were too cheesy, I was expecting SRK to give me those ‘Chak-De-Final-Goal’ goosebumps again!

India Waaley

1) Purely On Reputation!

Rolls Royce

He could’ve made Shakti Kapoor his director & Tiger Shroff his heroine & I would’ve still watched his movie! Because SRK was right when he once said, ‘I’m like Rolls-Royce. I can run without an engine, purely on reputation!’

True that.

Why Shouldn’t I:

5) Too much of nonsense!

Where should I start? Jag’s steamy ear, kids running to Mohini for her ‘Aashirwaad’, strip-show by Nandu Bhidey, 2-minute-maggie-noodle hacking by Rohan, Tammy’s senseless electricity shocks…the list is endless! There is a limit to which even the number-one fan can turn a deaf ear, blind eye & a numb mind to!

Jag

4) Loose ends!

Two days after watching the movie, I still wonder… ‘Why was Tammy’s bag not used during the robbery?!’ (Oh dear Lord!)

Tammy

3) Big Boss

It looked like a Big Boss movie, because throughout the movie, once-famous-now-jobless-characters kept surfacing! Dino Morea, Lola-Kutty, Geeta Ma etc etc…

Lola kutty

2) M**** – Chod na Yaar

WTH?!!!!! I booked first-day-first-show tickets for my younger brother and his friends! I trusted you with them & you go ahead & teach them THAT?!!! You know how easy it is for kids in my family to start swearing?!! Bloody WTF! *@#$*@#$***!!!

HNY

1) Khichdi!

Yes, DDLJ was a hit, Chak-De was a hit, Don was a hit … but you need to STOP using old dialogues in new movies, especially when they don’t make sense!

9movies

The final verdict? The movie tried portraying that Indians are great at winning hearts. It didn’t exactly come out well….but well, they tried. I’d say, watch it only if you are a SRK fan.

Otherwise, get a wild-card entry in Big Boss 8 & use the door that says, ‘Bang head here!’ That would hurt less.

Merry Christmas!

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